Hey Valerie! Great idea..I'm looking forward to hearing more from your heart....a special one that it is. I have a blog too; recently I have strayed from it, too many other things going on at the present time and needed to not spend so much time at the computer. I will definitely follow you here.... :)
Woohoo, I have it figured out... I'm a follower... wait should I have put it like that?! Hmmmm. I'm excited about the blog, it's a great way for us to keep connected!
Britt, I think technically, after you posted, that had meant we had all posted... Val, Jen, me, and YOU! haha... so you didn't have to wait for us to post anymore, we were waiting for you!
OK so I've never blogged before, and to be honest, I'm not really sure of what we are doing with this blog. First I must say before I explain what I mean, when I typed "I've never blogged before"... I sort of felt like it was something the dog gets in trouble for doing on the carpet - ha. But I don't mean "what we are doing with the blog" --- as in we have no right to have a blog. What I mean is, I'm not sure what to type because, I'm not sure what the goal is for us here. So past everyone blogging (again that sounds funny... or I have an urge to get out the wooden shoes and start clogging my heart out!) (and now you who are reading this may be wondering, does she really have wooden shoes and does she really clog?! - I'm not gonna answer those questions, you will be left with these burning questions in your brains forever.) **sinister laugh**
SO.... blogging away here, I think! I guess I'm just gonna speak my mind -- not opinions, more so the thoughts that are running rampant thru my brain. This could be dangerous you realize. I love writing as if I am telling a story, I love for people to really feel they experienced what was going on in my life, and I think that's why I have a hard time not taking up so much space when i type things out. You'll have to forgive my lengthiness, and if not, well then stop reading... now if you aren't willing to forgive my lengthiness, I told you stop reading... are you still reading.. just stop it, you have no one to blame but yourself. Fine I'm going on in-spite of you! *got that idea from one of my favorite books as a kid "There's A Monster at the End of this Book" with Grover from Sesame Street... if you don't know it, you should if you have little peoples in you life.
The other day I was talking with Val and I told her I feel like there were things I used to think I knew but as I've gotten older and further into being a wife a mom etc that I've lost sight of what I am supposed to be ... who I'm supposed to be .... what I'm supposed to do ... what I want to do ... what I even want. It's something that's been in the back of my mind for a while, but the other week at Summit it brought this stuff up to the forefront of my brains. On the questionaire it asked what things I was good at, and my interests, and I didn't know!!! So I'm excited about the Summit thing because I feel like it's gonna give me direction, and I really need that right now. In middle and high school I used to write, and I did a good job of it really... but now I don't know where I'd even start. Which is crazy stupid because look at all the material that I am supplied with by my children. I really don't want to be one of those women who one day goes mental and runs off (no I'm not contemplating it either) to discover herself. But I've really lost who I am ... and it's not my family's fault.. I just forgot about it.
I don't have a great relationship with my mom... she was raised by a woman who didn't easily share affection and information and so it's wasn't familiar territory for her to raise me that way either... but I want to have relationships with people that matter and so I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone. So I'm not sure how to even get in touch with that lost part of myself. Sometimes I wonder if because my not knowing myself, who I want to become not knowing that anymore, if that has something to do with why I'm not sure what God wants of me .... I feel like I have an idea sometimes, but I can't get tuned in enough to hear Him. I cannot say I am in The Word every day... and I am SOOOO embarrassed to say that, and I know I do not (what I would consider praying) "Pray" every day, but I think about God and talk with God every day... but I'm nowhere near what I need to be doing. I hate admitting that, but I need to ... I need to be held accountable, and so here I am laying my cards on the table. I want to be a wonderful blessing to God, one that Jesus would be proud to have given His life for... but I constantly find myself failing. I am learning s-l-o-w-l-y to forgive myself and to stop holding things over my own head... this guilt tends to keep me from moving forward. It's honestly similar to overweight people thinking "I'm gonna loose a few pounds, and then start to go to the gym"... I wanna get myself "perfect" before I come to Christ with my stuff. Where's that easy button we're supposed to have?! So there you have it... that's what's been on my mind lately, to an extent. I am going to be more transparent, because as I have gotten older, I am finding that really no matter what the 'secret' it might be... I am not the first one to feel a certain way or think a certain way... and perhaps others would benefit from my being more open about what's in my heart or mind... so maybe God wants to crack this nut so that other people can say, "I'm glad someone else feels that way.. now I don't feel so crazy" and we can work through it together. If not, then at least I'm putting it out there so it's not stuck in my head, driving me nuts. God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.
Hey Valerie! Great idea..I'm looking forward to hearing more from your heart....a special one that it is. I have a blog too; recently I have strayed from it, too many other things going on at the present time and needed to not spend so much time at the computer. I will definitely follow you here.... :)
ReplyDeleteWoohoo, I have it figured out... I'm a follower... wait should I have put it like that?! Hmmmm. I'm excited about the blog, it's a great way for us to keep connected!
ReplyDeleteThanks Val!
This is awesome! Love you!!! Can't wait for us to all post!
ReplyDeleteBritt, I think technically, after you posted, that had meant we had all posted... Val, Jen, me, and YOU! haha... so you didn't have to wait for us to post anymore, we were waiting for you!
ReplyDeleteOK so I've never blogged before, and to be honest, I'm not really sure of what we are doing with this blog. First I must say before I explain what I mean, when I typed "I've never blogged before"... I sort of felt like it was something the dog gets in trouble for doing on the carpet - ha. But I don't mean "what we are doing with the blog" --- as in we have no right to have a blog. What I mean is, I'm not sure what to type because, I'm not sure what the goal is for us here. So past everyone blogging (again that sounds funny... or I have an urge to get out the wooden shoes and start clogging my heart out!) (and now you who are reading this may be wondering, does she really have wooden shoes and does she really clog?! - I'm not gonna answer those questions, you will be left with these burning questions in your brains forever.) **sinister laugh**
SO.... blogging away here, I think! I guess I'm just gonna speak my mind -- not opinions, more so the thoughts that are running rampant thru my brain. This could be dangerous you realize. I love writing as if I am telling a story, I love for people to really feel they experienced what was going on in my life, and I think that's why I have a hard time not taking up so much space when i type things out. You'll have to forgive my lengthiness, and if not, well then stop reading... now if you aren't willing to forgive my lengthiness, I told you stop reading... are you still reading.. just stop it, you have no one to blame but yourself. Fine I'm going on in-spite of you! *got that idea from one of my favorite books as a kid "There's A Monster at the End of this Book" with Grover from Sesame Street... if you don't know it, you should if you have little peoples in you life.
ReplyDeleteThe other day I was talking with Val and I told her I feel like there were things I used to think I knew but as I've gotten older and further into being a wife a mom etc that I've lost sight of what I am supposed to be ... who I'm supposed to be .... what I'm supposed to do ... what I want to do ... what I even want. It's something that's been in the back of my mind for a while, but the other week at Summit it brought this stuff up to the forefront of my brains. On the questionaire it asked what things I was good at, and my interests, and I didn't know!!! So I'm excited about the Summit thing because I feel like it's gonna give me direction, and I really need that right now. In middle and high school I used to write, and I did a good job of it really... but now I don't know where I'd even start. Which is crazy stupid because look at all the material that I am supplied with by my children. I really don't want to be one of those women who one day goes mental and runs off (no I'm not contemplating it either) to discover herself. But I've really lost who I am ... and it's not my family's fault.. I just forgot about it.
I don't have a great relationship with my mom... she was raised by a woman who didn't easily share affection and information and so it's wasn't familiar territory for her to raise me that way either... but I want to have relationships with people that matter and so I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone. So I'm not sure how to even get in touch with that lost part of myself. Sometimes I wonder if because my not knowing myself, who I want to become not knowing that anymore, if that has something to do with why I'm not sure what God wants of me .... I feel like I have an idea sometimes, but I can't get tuned in enough to hear Him. I cannot say I am in The Word every day... and I am SOOOO embarrassed to say that, and I know I do not (what I would consider praying) "Pray" every day, but I think about God and talk with God every day... but I'm nowhere near what I need to be doing. I hate admitting that, but I need to ... I need to be held accountable, and so here I am laying my cards on the table. I want to be a wonderful blessing to God, one that Jesus would be proud to have given His life for... but I constantly find myself failing. I am learning s-l-o-w-l-y to forgive myself and to stop holding things over my own head... this guilt tends to keep me from moving forward. It's honestly similar to overweight people thinking "I'm gonna loose a few pounds, and then start to go to the gym"... I wanna get myself "perfect" before I come to Christ with my stuff. Where's that easy button we're supposed to have?! So there you have it... that's what's been on my mind lately, to an extent. I am going to be more transparent, because as I have gotten older, I am finding that really no matter what the 'secret' it might be... I am not the first one to feel a certain way or think a certain way... and perhaps others would benefit from my being more open about what's in my heart or mind... so maybe God wants to crack this nut so that other people can say, "I'm glad someone else feels that way.. now I don't feel so crazy" and we can work through it together. If not, then at least I'm putting it out there so it's not stuck in my head, driving me nuts. God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.
ReplyDeleteThanks gals.